And so I've had a interesting time.
I went to London to recharge my batteries. Being in the North is draining me to say the least. Working in a cinema, cleaning up people's sick and used condoms (yes, really… the things I've seen…) on minimum wage and spending very little time being creative with most of my time in survival mode, trying to avoid court action and eviction, having my phone and internet cut off and being saddled with bank charges and late payment fees (thank you for paying me on time LCC, you will be getting the bill for my charges) has left me feeling spent, depressed and very much alone. I needed time away to think, reflect, be with others who are ready to listen as well as have dialogue without any hidden agendas.
Seeing my family again helped me to remember just how vital a loving and supportive family unit is to my existence. I don't have that in the North. It's just me… and that can be especially trying in times of crisis. Just to talk to another person who knows and understands me, as I am. This is often what an individual needs to help them keep going. A kind word goes a long, long way…
Whilst in London I attended a Cultural Leadership Programme (CLP) event. Of course, the CLP are in the news at the moment as they are yet another "quango" that has been axed by the ConDem government. I've been involved in their programme for the past 14 months. And up until now, I didn't get what it is that they are supposed to do or why as a Choreographer and Performance Artist why I elected to be involved.
I mean… I know why I got involved. It's because they listened to me at a time when I spent 100% of my time justifying myself to my dance community and trying to convince those who were supposed to support me to create "Great art for everyone", and be the "Artist Taking the Lead" that I do have the ability to choreograph and that I have something to add to the world as an artist. Except they didn't want to know.
Listening to another individual is such a vital and important part of human interaction. The arts is the one place where people are supposed to listen. It's where like-minded individuals get together to realise artistic endeavours for public consumption. The ultimate in expressing the human condition. It's the world I inhabited throughout my working life. And in the past it's a place where I've felt valued. Shame I had to realise the hard way, that as long as I remained in the role of a service provider (who helped others to receive the accolade of being termed "artist" as opposed to stepping out of my station and calling myself an artist, a producer of my own ideas and curator of other like-minded artists with whom I can share and realise my creativity) I would be valued…
Myself along with 2 other dynamic, vibrant and highly talented Black female dance artists have created Triad of Women. Basically what we do is to present our dance ideas which is informed by our own personal narrative to the audience with whom we then share critical dialogue. Over the past few months the time I've shared with Leonora Stapleton and Carol Marie Webster in the studio, not just choreographing and sharing artistic dialogue but having real heart to heart dialogue about the things that concern us have been literally the only thing that has kept me going at a time of real personal, artistic and financial crisis. They have helped me to keep sane. We manage ourselves. We do everything ourselves with no financial support. We do it because we have a lot to offer as artists, as individuals who have found our artistic voices sidelined in the dance community and believe that dialogue with the audience is vital to our artistry. We've had one presentation back in October 2010 (which was very successful) and are due to present another in May this year. There are things in the pipeline for us. We're building an audience who want to engage with us and are interested in what we are doing. It's really exciting!
Anyways, being at this CLP event very suddenly the doors seem to open. People are not only interested in me, they are interested in my ideas, and want to help Triad of Women to be a success. And all I did was to have dialogue with others. I have no idea where it's all heading, however, I'm highly aware that the network opportunity has happened in London. In the North, I'm not even given the time of day by most in the dance community. Actually that's not strictly true. If I'm called to provide teaching cover for someone else then I might get a "hello".
However, I digress. The whole point of this conversation is to say that I'm now the official dance blogger for a website and magazine called Arts Professional (AP).
http://www.artsprofessional.co.uk
My first is called Thoughts on Finance. I used my previous blog Arts, Money and Funding: The Debate, as my first blog for AP. As I'll be blogging for them on a monthly basis, it'll be more of a round-up of my month, the experiences I've had and any victories and mis-haps I've had as I navigate my artistic journey. The day to day experience I'll share here with you. In a way, at the very least it'll encourage me to blog a whole lot more than I've been doing of late. Funny how being in a depressive state, leaves you feeling untalkative…
I have a busy artistic time ahead of me. Triad of Women are stepping up a gear. I'm stepping up a gear. If I want to live my life (and get paid for it) I got a lot of work to do… and I'm looking forward to it.
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